All good things comes to an end... 

Growing up I had a small white stuffed animal of a little lamb.  This little lamb was a souvenir that my father gave me when I was eight years old while we were on our summer annual family trip.  The small white lamb was not only cute in appearance, but the unique part was in the small bib around it's neck:  the bib held a small electronic music piece inside and plays the song "Old McDonald Had A Farm."  Every so often I would press it to hear it play before I went to sleep.  Through these years, I never named the small white lamb.  However, I did keep it very close to me all these years.

Today, after almost 16 months after my father's passing, I pressed the music to hear it...  Only to find out that the sound was now distorted and slow and off key.  This means the battery was dying.  Sadness took over me.. to top it all, the battery wouldn't be easy to replace.  This may be a task that will need to concur in good time - sooner rather than later.  In the mean time there isn't a lot that can be done with the dying music... of all the time, this is so not the time for it to die out.  Then again, the battery has lasted quite some time to my surprise, pleasantly.

This is crazy weather.. both these photos are a matter of a couple of days difference. 
Officially crazy weather. 

When in the midst of everyday life, the business never stops.  I'm now moving along better, but the pain remains.  Draining at times and limits me indeed.  

The cold of winter has set in, but so far weather forecast has been correct: it has been a mild winter.  when the temperature dips down to the 20s, man the ankle hurts tremendously: both bone and soft tissues hurt.  The price of recovering is not small.  This brings me a to a whole new level of admiration to those who are sick or have gotten injured.  Especially those that remain and keep such a positive and friendly attitude and ways of life.  Patience and understanding is quite an art.  Timing is quite an important piece to it all.  "Do or not do.  There is no try."

As the cold weather has now set in.  I can't say much about enjoying it.. but all hope is not shot.  The sun shined beautifully this morning, while the temperature hovered around 30s degree Fahrenheit.   On this beautiful day, we have a day off work in memory of George Bush, yes the NYSE is closed.  I went out and enjoyed the morning sun with a walk... ahh, something I have not done in about four months now.  The ankle has been hindering me too much.  It's still troubling me and from three doctors, it will be for quite some time.  Of course, the mistake was made by the first doctor and myself for trusting him when I knew he was wrong when it happened. 

Good news is that the ankle is stable and I can walk on it and just need to train it and take it easy to get the strength back.  How could I resist the temptation of going for a walk in the sun??  Of course  not!! I am not one for taking huge risks, and this isn't a huge risk, but in trying to train and strengthen the ankle, I went on the walk without the brace.  Just KT tape.  Results: some pain and very weak.  A little bit of rest and some good food should do the trick -- as always.  At this point, any training  to bring it back to 'normality' will be painful.  One day at a time... one day at a time.  I'm ready.

Happy December!! 

Time flies really fast and it's already the end of another year. I remember exactly what one of the fourth grade teachers told me in fourth grade: "When you realize that time is flying fast, then you are getting old."  Ha!  I never understood twas a possible complaint until these past few years.  Frankly, I am not sure if it's getting old or the freedom to do more things because we are grown.  Making choices and narrowing things down to fit our 24 hour day is not an easy thing.  More importantly, in order to do something well, even if it's just one thing, it will take quite a bit of time and devotion.  

Recently, someone I knew for a long time said to me that I was the only person amongst the people they knew that complains about growing up.  Perhaps so.  However from this statement, I knew we have different types of friends.  Amongst my friends, and they may not be as many as they have, but there are times and circumstances that my friends mention the difficulties of growing up.  Then, my best friend who is now a happy mother of two posted this article today on FB and this hit home!  The article talks about how a small child's world is so small that they are afraid to lose their favorite thing, and the psychology that is behind that.  For small children, when they lose what they enjoy playing with, they get insecure of the unknown.  As a small child, we don't know much, therefore we have all the time in the world.  Whoa, this article  brought up quite some things grown ups can relate...

Then I realized, we never really grow out of a child-like mentality.  I dare challenge even further to say: it's just a humanistic mentality. Because as grown ups, if one cares about each other or something, then we will weather through all storms and celebrations together.  For a child, that could be their blanket, their stuffed animal, their bottle, or their stepping stool... Then we we grow up, we change our attachment to work, fame, money, good friends, siblings, and or significant other.  But longevity, only comes when we put in effort and time -- all types of relationships will take work.  People may only have tolerance for work, making money, keeping their fame, just family, just friends, just significant other, and some none of the above.  Important thing of growing up is being able to develop healthy relationships in all areas of our life by communicating effectively and freely.  

Remembering seeing this quote: "The biggest communication problem is that we do not listen to understand.  WE listen to reply."  Damn!!   Whoa.. another one that hit home!! I realized that growing up is an endless process as we will always learn.  Interesting conversations are definitely not easy to come by.  Having a good soulful conversation is not easy to come by - personally I would like it once a month.  Then I realized how many times I fail to understand the communication of those close to me, maybe more than I would like - yes I do listen just to reply.  My beloved father once told me, "Slow down and take a breath."  Listening to what is said for understanding is so important!!  And this art, I am learning.  I should never be judgmental and keep in mind that we all came down different paths filled with different experiences.  To this point, I have been pleasantly surprised by strangers with a fulfilling soulful conversation many times.  Going forward, I will focus to understand all conversations I have.  Even more with those I care for deeply.  Therefore, I will slow down and be present because lesson learned that EVERYONE offers something to learn.  

i'm sure there is much to go on and much more perspectives in which i am so curious to hear.  more importantly I would love to hear people's experience and their thoughts.