today is the first day of spring... and never have i felt depressed on this day. the weather was interestingly enough also very wonky. started of as kinda warm in the morning and then got relatively cooler in the afternoon.
and the sadness will grow.. but that comes with much frustration of this broken ankle that just isn't healing. and not only that it's causing other problems as well. i'm not a doctor, but seems to me that broken bones are pretty common of an injury. I really don't understand how my doctor could have messed this up. i just really don't understand. at this point, i will be switching doctors entirely. it's almost been a year and still really no progression at all since month 2.
don't really know what else to say or think. it's not only frustrating at this point, but there's some anger and sad a lot.. a lot. sometimes it's hard to smile. fortunately i have a job that i like and enjoy the coworkers i work with. i mean my salary is such crap, but at least i have a job and we get along!
okay.. no more complaints.. i have some worries about seeing the new doctor. but faith i will have. and being positive will win me half the battle! =)
wow.. time flies whether you are not doing things you like or not, whether you have a choice or not.. it just flies.
seems just yesterday I broke my ankle, and i was hopeful that i would be up and running again soon in spring 2019. well.. unfortunately there seem to be some bad judgement calls from my doc, and now i am looking at surgery to have my ankle heal. while this is the plan ahead, the complications and the headaches keep on coming. and somehow, from the beginning i had a feeling this would be how it would go down. now... here we are. however, if i am going to have this surgery, it will not be done by the same doctor. i am going to head to Hospital for Special Surgery (HSS).
and doctors in HSS are crazy busy and hard to get an appointment with. so while i called last month as soon as my doctor told me that a surgery would be needed for recovery, the appointment i got is the end of this month. seems quite common to get a doctor's appointment so far out at this place. in the mean time, i am to make sure that i protect this part of my body and not make it worse. so far, it doesn't look like I am doing a good job with it. that's the sad part... as much as i feel like i know quite a bit of my body, there is far more that i am learning now in the progress of my ankle injury.
just last week, i had just come out of being crazy busy for the past month at work. working to set up a conference is really quite a bit of work. including working on presentation deck for the conference, it was definitely a time i was losing my mind. when it was all done, some of the things that i needed to attend to kept me on my feet quite a bit. at that point, i wasn't thinking anymore. i had been on this auto-drive mode for a while now. there wasn't much capacity to go running given my injury and the way my days were shaped.. well weeks. in reality, i had been walking around everywhere that it really didn't matter if i ran or not. my ankle was getting plenty of exercise.
plenty, indeed! so what happens next?
by the time last weekend hit, not only my ankle, but my whole lower leg (from my left knee down to my ankle) said: "nope, we're done!" the pain was intense and excruciating that i wasn't able to sleep. the doctor told me to keep off my feet and let it rest for a week. instantly also gave me a note for work. i must say, in these past two days being off my feet did help in lessening the pain. it's not all gone, but i am able to sleep now and hobble around. whew... at least no more crutches like i needed on Monday. and i gotta say, crutches absolutely HARD WORK!!! i'm sure this is all also because i am so so so out of shape. Damn!
well... we now know that none of this is easy. so to everyone, please be careful when you walk, run, or anything that you do. our human body is very fragile.
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