Belated Empathy

On this special day i remember by beloved father who is now at peace and free.  During his last few years he was captured by a deadly and tortured disease that slowly ate away his mobility.  Today is Father's Day.  Remembering his livelihood and how high spirited he once was and gave us life (both literally and figuratively).  As much as we all miss him, but we are comforted knowing he no longer is suffering.  

Only recently did I come to feel and learn what the man was going through.  With my recovery of my ankle, and the start of physical therapy (PT) about 6 weeks ago, the emotional and physical struggle that I only have a bare glimpse of what he was going through.  When I started back at PT again (for the second round), i couldn't even move my toes, using the entire body strength to barely and not even move my toes.  It took my physical therapist to manually help me move my toes.  and actually breaking a sweat just from finally moving my toes ever so little. And the pain, frustration, helplessness... my goodness the emotions go on.. i can only imagine all of this magnified by infinity of what my father felt.  

Unfortunately, it took all of this for me to just barely understand how strong, loving, self sacrificing my father is.  All this to just give me a glimpse of what the man was going through.   For me, there is light at the end of this tunnel.  I cannot fathom how he dealt with knowing the light at the end of my father's tunnel was knowing that he was saying goodbye to all of us, and everything.  Bitter sweet. 

Humility ... this is humility for me. 
And daddy eating his favorite sweets and ice cream and shaved ice is how I will remember him.  Always and forever.  I love you daddy.  Miss you.